Talk about nostalgia – films from the decade that fashion forgot were the backdrop to our adolescence, provided the soundtrack to our teens and taught us more about the birds and the bees than science teachers and parents put together.

Hormones were flying everywhere and almost without fail, by the time the closing credits rolled you had developed a major crush on at least one of the characters.

Every girl had a poster on their bedroom wall of River Phoenix, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe or Michael J Fox.

Dalliance

And the cast of Young Guns and Young Guns 2 catered for every taste, with Kiefer Sutherland, Emilio Estevez, Charlie Sheen, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christian Slater and Jon Bon Jovi, not to mention Balthazar Getty – now better known for his alleged dalliance with Sienna Miller.

Somehow most of the memorable films from back then seemed to be all about teen angst – or maybe they were just the only ones we were interested in.

But watching 80s-essential Pretty in Pink, followed by one of the all-time greatest movies The Lost Boys I couldn't help but wonder, what on earth has happened to stars like teen queen Molly Ringwald and heartthrob Jason Patric.

The last thing I heard about Patric was around 1991 when he hooked up with Julia Roberts after she jilted Kiefer Sutherland just before their wedding.

As for Molly, maybe producers realised her name just wasn't sexy enough for her to be an A-lister, unlike Demi or Brooke.

Then there are teen idols Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, who weirdly only ever seemed to appear in films together.

They then both disappeared and Haim was so notable by his absence a band released a CD called Whatever Happened to Corey Haim?

It's ironic it was made by The Thrills, when the same question could now quite easily be asked of them.

Other teen favourites who seem to have vanished without trace include Blossom Russo – remember her?

– who lived with her brothers and dad and hung out with fast-talking friend Six.

Punky Brewster, abandoned by her mum but adopted by kind Henry who lived in the same apartment block?

What about Zach and Screech from Saved by the Bell? And the little boy who played Elliot in ET.

These guys were with me throughout my teens. I'm more interested in what happened to them than the kids I sat next to in maths or French.

If I was Dave Gorman or Justin Lee Collins my next move would be to take off round the world for a year, track down each and every one of them and reunite them for a straight-to-dvd movie.

But without their kind of budgets I'm pretty much limited to trawling the internet for updates, which may or may not have any truth in them.

Stars from that special time who have managed to stay the course include 24's Kiefer and Matthew Broderick, star of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

These days he performs on Broadway but to thirty-something women the world over his most notable achievement will always be being Mr SJP.

Still, no one needs to ask "whatever happened to..." about the cast of Beverly Hills 90210, as that is said to be returning to our screens.

Personally I always found their off-screen drama more exciting than the on-screen shenanigans.

Shannon Doherty's behaviour was regarded as "wild" in those tame pre-Britney days. And back then even the fact that Tori Spelling had a boob job was quite shocking.

Implants

It was a time when she and Pamela Anderson seemed to be the only women with implants, compared with now – when it's almost as routine as having your ears pierced.

I was never a big fan of 90210. The cast all seemed too old for high school even back then, are they still going to be pretending to be students despite being old enough to have teenage kids themselves?

I guess the lesson to be learned is that like ra-ra skirts, day-glo socks and leg warmers, these actors were "acceptable in the 80s" – just like the song says.

But apart from a lucky few, that's where they should stay.


Doherty ban is a shambles


I know few people have much sympathy for Pete Doherty, but even his fiercest critics must be gobsmacked by the latest development in his chaotic life.

His band Babyshambles have been banned from playing a gig in Wiltshire because police said their tendency to speed up their music then slow it down was an incitement to violence. Seriously.

Officers were worried changing the tempo of the music would start a riot so they went to court to get an order to prevent them performing.

I assume they must have locked up all the violent gangs, murderers and terrorists then if they've got time to dedicate to something as ridiculous as this.


Same old story


Sticking with a musical theme, please can someone tell Oasis enough is enough.

They were once great. But their last decent album was their second (What's the Story) Morning Glory – an incredible 13 years ago.

Now they're just a parody of themselves.

We don't need to hear the tired old Beatles references, that same guitar riff and Liam's overly gravelly voice dragging out over rhyming couplets like shine (shyiiiiiiiiiiiine) and line (lyiiiiiiiiiiiine) ever again.

It's embarrassing.

And boring.