He denied it, saying he wasn't allowed to smoke in his girlfriend's car and that was what he'd been driving on the day of the offence.

He refused to pay the fixed-penalty notice and ended up defending himself at Leeds Magistrates Court, where the prosecution accused him of lying about littering simply to stay out of trouble with his missus.

A quick poll of workmates and pals revealed plenty of men would be daft enough to choose a trial over a barney with their other half, but unless you're married to Lorena Bobbitt I just can't see it.

Whether you believe Mr Walsh was guilty or not, his case got me thinking about what a big fat waste of everyone's time and money the whole sorry shebang turned out to be.

I mean there's something seriously wrong with a system which has 10 people involved in a morning's debate over whether or not someone threw a cigarette or some other "white cylindrical object" from a car window almost a year ago.

Still, the council official who accused Mr Walsh of the offence didn't let being trapped in court stop him doing his job.

As we waited for the magistrates to return their verdict he spotted a group of smokers standing outside a nearby solicitor's office, saw one drop a butt and jotted down the details of the offence to make sure he didn't get away with it.

Now, I think smoking is even more repulsive than Madonna's new collection of silky, lace-edged shorts.

And I despise littering.

The last thing I want is a city covered in rubbish – but neither do I want to live in a place where people are paid to spy on generally law-abiding folk in the hope of squeezing £50 out of them if an old bus ticket drops out of their pocket or a tissue blows out of their handbag while they're rummaging for their phone.

Even if they do deliberately throw a cigarette from their car, it's hardly the crime of the century.

But if they're innocent their only options are to pay up for something they haven't done or take their chance arguing it in court and risk a much bigger fine if they're still found guilty.

How about using a bit of discretion behind the scenes to sort disputed cases out, rather than hauling people before the courts?

At present it all just seems so heavy-handed – a bit too 'big brother'. (the original, obviously, not the reality TV show)

Fining people isn't the solution – that's just a sneaky way for the council to make money.

Like most problems it all comes back to instilling proper values.

We need to show people how littering damages the environment and make it socially unacceptable.

It's worked in Australia. Over there, if people see someone drop a cig butt they will stop them in the street and tell them to pick it up.

But clearly the British Government thinks its citizens can't be trusted to look after themselves like their mates Down Under.

We need TV adverts to tell us to wipe down chopping boards after using raw meat, how much we can drink, what we can eat, and woe betide anyone trying to hold an unofficial conker fight without protective eyewear.

Can't we be trusted to police ourselves on an issue like litter, and leave the courts to deal with the real criminals?


Fair play


I must take this opportunity to thank the reader who spoke to my colleague about the YEP playgrounds campaign, which I'm involved in.

He rang in to say how much he approved of what we are trying to do, in calling for more play areas to be provided for youngsters across the city.

I was just about to pat myself on the back when my workmate passed on the next part of the conversation, and then almost splattered him with fruit tea as I burst out laughing.

"He said, 'the playgrounds stuff's been really good, I've enjoyed reading it – I can't stand that stuff she usually writes'.

Ah, they giveth, then they taketh away.


What lies beneath


In these dark and dreary days of the credit crunch you need all the free fun you can get.

Try my tip of the week and you might just get a lovely surprise.

Simply lift up your computer keyboard and take a peek underneath.

Seriously, that's it.

I found a brazil nut poking out from the back of mine, scoffed it, then picked up the whole thing to see if there were anymore edible treats loitering.

I discovered unimaginable wonders that must have been hidden in the darkness for goodness knows how long – a pearl bracelet I'd thought I'd lost, and a pen.

My colleague on the next desk was so impressed he decided he'd give it a go and discovered a little yellow bouncy ball under his.

But this activity comes with a warning: anyone who cleans their desk more than twice a year risks serious disappointment.