Debbie Leigh: Why it's so hard to keep mum over our favourites
Published Date:
23 September 2008
COME on you parents out there, admit it – you've got a favourite.
There's no point trying to hide it any more, we've read the survey by Netmums.
The parenting website revealed one in six mums they quizzed confessed to having stronger feelings for one of their offspring, rather than loving them all equally.
Ouch, the ultimate betrayal.
OK, such favouritism might be more taboo than many four letter words these days and no-one wants to believe they were the runner-up in their parents' affections – but isn't it to be expected?
Do siblings all love each other equally?
Do you love all your nieces and nephews the same amount?
No, because some are endearing little treasures while some drive you bonkers.
Obviously there's a huge baseline of love between mums, dads and kids but surely we wouldn't be human if we felt exactly the same emotions for two different people.
Even the experts admit some children are simply easier to love because they're more likeable, cause less anxiety and make life easier.
You love them all but some you like more than others. Isn't that just realistic?
I love my two best friends pretty much equally but depending on their moods, and mine, I usually like one a bit more than the other.
The true skill is in hiding it.
Or in employing a spot of denial that makes everyone feel better.
Just over half those surveyed said they loved their children "differently but equally".
That's what my dad always told me and my brother and it felt like a fair assessment.
Although maybe that's just positive spin on the truth, which is that you love them differently because you prefer one to the other.
As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I'm not a parent.
Without my own brood I can only compare the survey results with objects of corresponding importance in my life.
And much as I love chocolate, shoes and dresses – the favourites of which change on a daily basis – the best comparison I can come up with is my cats.
I stand accused of loving Yogurt more than Ruskin and I take great offence at the suggestion, even though I know there's an element of truth to it.
But as anyone who really knows cats knows, it's not me that's in charge.
So it's not actually Yogurt that is my favourite but me who is his.
Maybe any parents consumed with guilt about having a favourite child could tell themselves it's the same with kids.
We should be so lucky
IF you were on Briggate last Tuesday you can't have missed the bright orange creation – like an igloo crossed with a bouncy castle.
For anyone who didn't spot it, it was a special The Sanctuary spa dome offering free samples, and even better…free treatments.
I enjoyed a blissful mini facial in one of the four private treatment pods, instantly soothing away the stresses of the day.
The Sanctuary was celebrating its 30th birthday by taking its famous treatments and products on tour.
A colleague labelled its press release patronising as it said these pampering sessions were usually only available to women in London, implying us northerners were very lucky because for one day only they were going to let us see what we were missing.
I figured if someone wanted to patronise me by giving me a free facial they could patronise me as much as they wanted.
But later, as I relaxed in the treatment chair, I thought perhaps he had a point.
The beauty therapist asked: "So, do you have many spas in Leeds?"*
* For those no good at interpreting subtext, it seemed she meant "so, you've probably not got many spas this far ooop north have you?"
From the tone of her voice she must have been surprised I hadn't turned up in a flat cap with a whippet.
Rolling with the royals
YOU can't beat the royal seal of approval so me and my pals felt very smug at seeing our Saturday night party hotspot splashed all over the front pages last week.
Kate Middleton had helped organise a roller disco at the circuit at Vauxhall, London, last Wednesday to raise money for a children's hospital ward.
And just three days later, me and a gaggle of YEP beauties were all whizzing round that very same rink.
Talk about on-trend.
Having said that it, would have been even more impressive if it had been the far cooler princess-in-waiting Chelsy Davy blazing a trail ahead of us.
Now that would have been wheelie special.
The full article contains 778 words and appears in n/a newspaper.
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Last Updated:
23 September 2008 11:16 AM
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Source:
n/a
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Location:
Leeds