I'D like to say I'm proud to live in Leeds.
Sometimes I am, when people from elsewhere wax lyrical about our shops, our clubs and our style-savvy beautiful people.
At other times I would rather live next door to Kerry Katona than live here.
This is one of those times – and when you hear
why, I think you'll agree.
Leeds residents have brought shame upon the city with their ridiculous views on the city's best restaurants.
They were quizzed and the results were nothing short of astounding.
If I had bumped into Victoria Beckham wearing a shellsuit and tucking into a quarter-pounder and fries in the Merrion Centre with Jordan, I couldn't have been more shocked.
Discerning
The top four, as voted for by the great, discerning Leeds public, were: Bibi's; Nando's ; Akbar's and McDonald's.
No wonder we now have a Subway on almost every street corner in Leeds and not a single Michelin-starred eatery.
Anyone who actually classes McDonald's as a restaurant deserves to be tarred, feathered and force-fed chicken nuggets until they vomit.
I suppose we should just be thankful that an independent, long-established and undeniably glamorous-looking Italian is number one, ahead of Nando's chicken chain and the gut-busting Maccy D's.
Spicy chicken, curry, burgers?
Is this what our supposedly cosmopolitan crowd like to munch on when they're not shopping at Vivienne Westwood and sipping mojitos?
Talk about showing your true colours.
They've played straight into the hands of the southerners who think us lot "up north" all wear flat caps, walk whippets and live on beef dripping.
The absurd thing is, this is a city that is constantly asking the questions, how can Leeds go up a league and what should Leeds do to become a truly European city.
My first priority would be relocating most of the city's population, if these responses are representative of the hoi polloi.
If Jamie Oliver finds out that what many Loiners want from an eatery is a greasy burger made from reconstituted meat and served in a polystyrene box I'm sure he'll abandon plans for a Fifteen in Leeds and start looking elsewhere for a site.
He'd be better off turning Leeds into his next food-education project.
Twizzlers
Except this time, instead of weaning children off Turkey Twizzlers and on to fresh fruit and veg he'll face the much tougher challenge of dragging Leeds diners out of the fast-food gutter and into the 21st century.
This city has a host of eateries serving up delectable dishes – Chino Latino, Chaophraya, Nick's Brasserie and Brasserie Blanc, to name a few.
There's no need for anyone here to ever eat at McDonald's again.
And before you plead poverty, that's no excuse.
Believe me, saving all those £2s you spend on Big Macs then splashing out on a decent meal in a proper restaurant will make you so much happier.
And I will be much happier because I can stop having to lie about where I live.
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